i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Randomize
