He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
