its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
