omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
