i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
