just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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