i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
