bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
