Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
