Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
