Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize