This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
