dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
