Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
