Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
