Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize