Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
