we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
