He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize