these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
