Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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