i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
