I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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