Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
