I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
