***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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