She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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