the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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