By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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