I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
