she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
