somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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