well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
