everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do you remember whose house we're in?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
