What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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