Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
