Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
