He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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