Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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