gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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