I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
