i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
