bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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