Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
