just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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