I seem to have left my pride at pride
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
