I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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