My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
