the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
