Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
