the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize