If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
