Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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