You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
