why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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