Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize