Betty ford says i'm here all night
should my penis look like a turkey
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
