Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Randomize
