How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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