he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
