I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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