if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
