Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
