What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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