the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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