ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
