C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she looked like the before picture.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize