Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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