his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize