TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
