quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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