I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
