my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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