I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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