I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
