I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
