Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
