What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
